Have You Ever Seen Someone Die in Front of You?

It was three o'clock in the morning when my mom woke me from a deep sleep. It took a while to register her words, but they hit me seconds later like a slap to the face. "There was a drive by shooting next door." Immediately I popped out of bed, messy pony tail and all, and rushed through the hallway, outside the front door, and into the yard. Flashing blue and red lights. A sea of panic-stricken twenty-somethings. Cries. Screams.

I walked to the neighboring house - my uncle's house - to greet the first person I could find. My cousin Ramiro was shirtless, barefoot, and spotted with blood. I gave him a quick hug as he exited the gates. I would've hugged him longer, but he was preoccupied with fighting his tears and searching for the next thing to do.

The next scene I saw is one I will never forget. Rene and Danny were laying on the ground, covered in blood, surrounded by friends and a policeman. I couldn't process the imagery before me. I couldn't make sense of them on the ground until I found my cousin Lizard crying on the phone to her brother JR. I reached for her and gave her the biggest hug I could give anyone in this world. I cried as she buried her head into my right shoulder. "I think Rene and Danny are gone. I think they're gone," she said to JR on the phone. Clueless about what to do next, I stood near a tree for a few moments as Rene and Danny received CPR.

"We're losing him....
His pulse is fainting...
The other is not too far behind."


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Rene and Danny were like family to me. Even though they weren't my blood relatives (they were my cousins' cousins), they felt like a part of my family. We grew up together. We played games of tag, watched cartoons after school, and drank beer while listening to oldies, spanish, and country music play in the background.

Rene was twenty two and Danny fifteen when they were murdered on September 11, 2011. Two young men with their entire lives ahead of them. Two young men that will forever be remembered as kindhearted, fun, and hardworking.

For all we know, their deaths may serve as a purpose for something greater in the future. After all, they do say everything happens for a reason, right? But, as of now, it's challenging to find, or even accept, that reasoning. There's an unsettling feeling in the air, in our neighborhood, in my body. One that I can feel when I open my front door, or as a car drives by while walking my dog, or when I'm left with my thoughts right before bed.

With time this disturbing feeling will weaken, but it will never go away. However, the memories of Rene and Danny will last a lifetime. They will live on through our stories and the lives of their brothers, sister, parents, and cousins. They will never be forgotten.
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So I ask again: Have you ever seen someone die in front of you? I hope your answer is no. I hope you will never experience the tragedy my family and friends endured that early Sunday morning. I hope you appreciate life as much as I do -- because it is a gift that can be returned in a heartbeat.

Rest in peace, boys.